yeah well;
i'm a fucking reck .
between my own guy problems; and ym ex boyfriend ripping my best friend's heart to shreds day-by-day; i'm falling apart.
he broke up with me a few years ago to date another girl and this year he was going out with my bff and made-out with his ex 5 times at a halloween party then dumps my best friend.
i love mackenzie(my best friend) to death i do; but she lets her feelings and heart get in the way of things; she reccently dated him again; and he treated her like shit and i don't know what to say to her . Friday night at our school dance all i could do was hug her when she was crying and tell her he isn't worht it and she deserves better.
I have one of those friendships were if your best friend's feeling liek shit, so are you..
that's not all though. i have my own boy problems. between the "she's so fucking hott" to the "i like you",and then "i like her" conversations; i don't know when to believe him .

So here i am; dying to cutt . and i can't . because i promised Mackenzie i wouldn't ever do it again... even if i did; i wouldn't be able to stop.. it's like an addiction.. a drug.. i barely managed to stop the first time; it took me monthes to realize what i'd be losing if i did it.

here i lay; with tear-stained checks, burning eyes, and sad music and qoutes. So here i go again : Slapping on a fake smile, and making everyone else laugh when i can't even describe the way i truly feel. because this year : seems to suck worse then the last day of school last year, and the 3 monthes i went without talking to this one guy who always makes me smile no matter what.

Seems like my group of friends is going to be spinning into a world of long-sleeves, fake smiles, sleepless nights, tear filled eyes, and unbelievable "nothing is wrong.. i'm perfectly fine." answers to simple questions like 'what's wrong?' 'how are you', and 'are you alright?'

just fucking give me one pass: one cutt is all i need.